Pre-Nuptial Questionnaire

compiled by Elsa Die L÷win

  1. Why do you want to get married? What does marriage mean to you?

  2. What difference will it make in your relationship? What are your expectations of marriage?

  3. How long have you been together? How did you meet?

  4. Is one of you more "in love" than the other?

  5. What is your favorite trait in your partner?

  6. What is your least favorite trait in your partner?

  7. What do you and your partner do when you argue?

  8. Do you and your partner share a sense of humor? Can you tease each other without wounding?

  9. How do you and your partner get along with each other's families? If you had to choose between your partner and your family, who would you choose?

  10. Have you lived together? If so, for how long? If not, why not?

  11. Are you a morning person? Is your partner? If you are different from each other this way, how do you deal with the difference?

  12. Do you have similar standards of tidiness for your home? Who do you expect will do most of the housework? Have you discussed the division of labor? Have you reached an agreement? Are you happy with it?

  13. Will you both cook? Can you both cook?

  14. Have you discussed who will be in charge of the money? Have you reached an agreement? Was it difficult to agree? Are you happy with the agreement?

  15. Have you discussed open or closed marriage? Did you both feel the same way from the start? Have you reached an agreement? Are you happy with it?

  16. Have you been married before? If so, why did your other relationship(s) end? How is this relationship different?

  17. Has your partner been married before? Does your partner interact with the ex-spouse? Do they get along? How do you feel about that?

  18. Do you both want or not want children? Do either of you have children already? Do you agree on how many? Do you know why you do or don't want children?

  19. Do you have experience dealing with children? If you and your partner started off with different desires, have you reached an agreement? If so, who gave in and why?

  20. Have you ever been beaten, molested, raped or otherwise abused? Have you done healing/therapy? Have you told your partner? How does it affect your relationship?

  21. Do you have idiosyncrasies or "kinks" that you haven't told your partner about? If so, why haven't you told? What would happen if your partner found out?

  22. Are you "turning over a new leaf" with this relationship, trying to leave behind some part of yourself?

  23. What would you do if you found out that your partner had done or been through something and hadn't told you? How would it change your relationship? Would it make a difference to you whether your partner's participation was willing or not?

  24. What would you do if your partner asked you to do something you found morally dubious?

  25. How do you feel about me reading your answers to these questions?

  26. Why did you choose me to do your handfasting?

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© 1992-1999, Elsa DieLowin. Use freely with agknowledgement. If you wish to suggest changes, contact me at elsa@draigsffau.org